In Summary…We Are Responsible for Our Own Balance

Written May 24, 2013

I started this week with the quest for maintaining balance as I move more fully into the world with my creative career. My initial blog, Insights on Balance, helped me work through my initial worries and conclude that maintaining balance is about choice. When an opportunity or a calling is in front of me and it resonates with me and feels like ‘mine’, then I say yes. Saying yes to these choices can only lead to balance because I will be following my own flow. Equally important is saying no to things that aren’t ours in this moment. Choosing ‘no’ or ‘not now’ also leads us down the path to balance.

That moment of choice is critical. Paraphrased from A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that we are only really free when making a choice. Once it’s made, we are a slave to something. Take away point = Keep the act of choosing sacred.

Beverly Rieger, author of this week’s guest blog, Creativity…The Road of the Unknown, takes the concept of choice even further. She refers to the connection to our soul we have when doing our creative work. For her that’s making music. For me it’s writing and creating art. For you it can be whatever endeavor, work or otherwise, in which you lose yourself in the flow. That soul connection is the essence of our being and if carried beyond that one creative endeavor into the other aspects of our lives, will automatically keep us centered. And as an added boost, when we’re in that soul-connected space, we will always make the choices needed to maintain the balance we seek. You know that vicious circle we find ourselves spinning within when the state of out-of-balance living leads to more out-of-balance choosing? Well this concept would be the antithesis of that. This soul-connected space of living creates a loving, self-nurturing, balanced circle in which to choose and thus thrive.

Now, to really get honest here, the next piece of all of this loving, choice-making, soul-connected talk is this:

We are each responsible for our own state of balance.

If we’re going to claim success for achieving balance and tell ourselves what a fab job we did of making the choices needed to get there, then we must also own the other end of the spectrum. When we’re out of balance, it’s because we have made the choices that went against our inner voices and got ourselves there.

This may be an obvious conclusion as we’re moving along here, BUT so often we (myself included) blame other people and situations for our current state of imbalance. Our jobs, our bosses, our kids’ schedules, our houses, our friends’ expectations, our community commitments, and on and on and on. We all do it. It makes it much easier to justify an out-of-balance life to abdicate responsibility and claim innocence, but in truth, every single solitary reason for not feeling centered is our own doing.

A friend and I have this joke where we defy the selfless attitude of the day and say “I am the center of the universe”. We get a good laugh over that, but then we get serious because it’s absolutely true. I am indeed the center of MY own universe. We are each little universes walking around with people and situations swirling in our personal atmospheres. It is our job and our job only to ensure that what we bring into our space suits us and keeps our universes spinning properly. And if my universe is spinning in sync, our connections to others’ personal universes will be more meaningful AND the grand universe we all join in creating will be stronger. So say it with me a few times until it sticks…I am the center of MY universe. I am the center of my universe.

So if you’re ready to get really honest with yourself and sort out this whole balance thing, then here’s an idea. Go do something you absolutely love doing – something that gets you soul-connected, feeling inner peace, forgetting about the time, laughing and joyful – whatever it is that makes you feel centered. Then FROM THAT SPACE take a good, discerning look at the other aspects of your life. Where are you  balanced and where are you struggling? What choices did you make to get yourself there? Remember that sometimes the initial choice isn’t right at the surface, but rather a few choices back. You know, that vicious circle thing.

You may have some easy aha moments that have you ending with a list of some changes to make and choices to undo. There may be a few that are a little too complicated or unable to undo at this time. That’s AOK. Awareness is a big deal and sometimes just enough to get us over the hump of feeling stuck. Point is, take that awareness into the next decision-making moments and…

Make good choices!

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Regina Leffers McCaleb, Ph.D.

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